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Monday, February 01, 2010

Let's Not Repeat Today's Vocabulary Word

With all the bad things going on the world right now, it's hard to complain about a bad day. However, it is still possible, and there are some rough parenting days. Maybe the trick is to look at them with a sense of humor...or a really good glass of wine. Seeing as I don't have any of the latter on-hand right now, unless you count the cooking wine, I'll go with humor.

Today I needed to take the boys to Boston for their ENT appointments. I dread these appointments. They usually take a minimum of three hours. First we have to wait for the audiology test, then have the test, then wait to see the doctor, then see the doctor. This doesn't even take into account just trying to find the building in the first place and then driving my CRV through narrow alleys that were probably barely wide enough for one person on horseback in the 18th century.

After a good swim this morning, I came home and brought out the golden bribe. That's right the bribe of all bribes: the portable DVD player. Normally I'm not the type of parent who packs toys and snacks for a doctor's appointment. First of all, I have no interest in doing it. Second, my kids would much rather play with germy office toys than anything I bring, so rather than fight it, I just try to remember to have them use a wipe on their hands when we leave. Before you groan, let me just say that my older son has not been sick at all this year. My younger one hasn't had more than a mild cough. His "sick days" have been for the two times I kept him home from school to go to playdates. My approach to germ management apparently works. Knock on wood big time!

Seeing as ENT appointments are horrific at best, I not only packed the DVD player, I packed lunch as well. Just as I finished up, I heard squeals coming from the bathroom. Hmm..two boys+fighting+laughing+overflowing toilet= squeals. In their defense, the toilet had been acting funny since yesterday. Whether it was a Leggo or a number 2, I know that at least one of them had something to do with it. Unfotunately I didn't have time to do much more than turn off the water and throw down a bunch of towels. Yeah, gross I know. What are blogs though if not true confessions? I shut the door so that the cats wouldn't get in the bathroom.

Off we went to Boston. After a number of traffic jams, pokes, threats, and counts to 3, we made it to Storrow Drive. All of a sudden I saw someone looking right at me. Yes, there was a cyclist riding along side my car. I was so startled I dropped an F bomb derivative. Yes, the boys learned a new vocabulary word today. They seemed impressed. Let's hope that their teachers are as well if they use it. I'm kidding. Let's hope they don't use it.

After getting majorly lost...three times, we made it. The hearing tests went well. Their exams went well. However, when I asked the doctor about OS's "phlegmy noises" he had a blank look on his face. You know, the throat clearing, aheming, coughing, and snorting that I presumed were the result of a serious medical problem? The doctor laughed. He did know exactly what I was talking about and apparently has had more than one parent of a boy come convinced that there surely is something wrong with their son. It was what I had suspected: a bad habit. Apparently my use of the term "gross boy noises" is not medically accurate.

Fortunately that was the boys last visit!! Their ear tubes are gone, and their ears are free of unnatural holes. The doctor in fact commented on how healthy they both were. I beamed with pride. Then I followed his gaze and realized he was eyeing YS who was under the chair, quite possibly licking the floor. Rats! I had hoped he wouldn't notice that. He laughed.

We dropped OS off at school, and then YS and I headed home..where we found our neighbor's dogs chasing cars in the streets. I parked the car in her driveway, and we got the dogs to follow us to her house. Phew. Time to sit down for a minute or two of relaxation. Or so I thought. A different neighbor called asking if she could come over. I furtively looked around my house as if she could see me...um my house was not at it's best. Outside of the boarded up bathroom quite possibly reeking of pee, I hadn't had time to run the dishwasher, wipe the the table or really put anything away. Two minutes later she was in my kitchen. Thankfully she didn't need to use my bathroom.

I did have a nice conversation with her. She didn't seem to care about the state of my house. Then it was time to pick up OS up for school because part of my big time bribe included taking him to NEADS to pet puppies. I almost never pick OS up from school. Apparently it showed. There is a rumor that someone named Balex Melliot may have held up the pick up line because she was confused about where her son was waiting. A teacher may have commented that it was obvious that her son usually takes the bus. I have no idea who this person is!

Playing with the puppies was fantastic! The boys had a great time...alright I probably had the best time of everyone! We came home, I made dinner and then realized that I never delt with the bathroom. Towels were thrown in the wash, the mop came out as did the Clorox. I was convinced that I had gotten stabbed in the foot but realized I had actually stepped on a Leggo in the kitchen. I almost had a repeat of today's word of the day. Since the newly clean but still wet bathroom is the one with the bathtub, I took YS upstairs for his first shower. He actually did pretty well. OS enjoyed his shower as well. Now if only they will fall asleep.

Alex Elliot's Mother-in-Law's Lesson Learned (as shared on Facebook): Now you don't have to worry about what they'll pick up from other kids or on the street. There are times when those are the only appropriate words, as long as they don't just fling them about randomly.

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posted by Alex Elliot @ 7:04 PM   4 comments
4 Comments:
  • At 2/02/2010 7:20 AM, Blogger Goofball said…

    you are amazing if the boys have not heard the F bomb until now? I'm sure it'll be part of my children's early vocabulary.

     
  • At 2/04/2010 2:02 PM, Blogger GrandeMocha said…

    My 6 yr old came home from Catholic school with the F word and the C word. Wanted to know what they meant. I explained what they meant & how to use them in a sentence. They I explained that if any adult heard him use them, he would be in big trouble.

    I learned all THOSE words from my dad before kindergarten. I figured letting mine get to first grade with minimal exposure was a step in the right direction.

     
  • At 2/05/2010 9:48 PM, Blogger Tracey - Just Another Mommy Blog said…

    Hey, all in all, it could have been WAAAAY worse, you know? Just think of all the ways that the little situations could have gone horribly wrong and you'll end up feeling like you've had a really accomplished day!

     
  • At 2/17/2010 12:15 AM, Blogger Suzanne said…

    Great advice from mother-in-law!

     
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Name:Alex Elliot
Home:MA, United States
About Me:Professional Mom of two cats, a dog, an ant farm, and oh yeah...two boys: a 6 year old and a 3 year old. Also found in my house is my husband who is known on this blog as The Big Giraffe.
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