It seems like just the other day it was December when I was having my biopsy. Then suddenly the week of my follow up pap smear has arrived. Or maybe it just seems like that only when I casually glance back at the last 4 months. In reality, for the most part it has been like that with a few waves of anxiety coming here and there. Just like how a wave a little further out in the ocean is more infrequent, so were my waves of anxiety in the winter months. Much like those waves that hit the shore are more frequent much to the delight of little kids, so has been my own waves of anxiousness this last couple of weeks except no one has been delighted by them at all. Also where there's waves with little kids, there tends to be pee. I'm not sure how that last part fits in with my analogy!
Yesterday morning I felt a familiar cramping and realized that it was almost that time of the month. Not trusting Mother Nature to wait until the weekend and knowing that having to reschedule my appointment would prolong the anxiety, I called my doctor to see if there were any cancellations earlier in the week. Fortunately there was one for this morning.
With my younger son (YS) in tow, we saw my older son (OS) off to kindergarten and headed to the doctor. It was kind of ironic in a way that this is the first time I've had one of my kids with me at the ob/gyn's office; one of the few appointments I've had that hasn't had anything to do with a pregnancy.
The doctor did the repeat pap smear. My cervix does still appear to be irritated. I honestly wasn't surprised to hear it. I'll know the official results in a couple of weeks, but the test will probably come back positive.
The good news is that I had an honest talk with my doctor about this procedure, my triathlon and childcare and decided to not have the procedure until after my triathlon. First of all, while I can take time off from the training to recover and still do the triathlon, I probably won't feel like jumping back at the needed intensity to be able to complete the triathlon and have it feel the way I would like it to feel. I'm into my second week of training with a coach and I really am enjoying. I'm looking forward to the remaining 14 weeks and completing my first Olympic distance triathlon.
Second, the childcare issue is a lot easier during the summer. My MIL has said from the beginning that if I were to have this surgery during the summer she thinks that she'll be able to come out and help since she should be fully recovered from her broken tailbone by then. If that doesn't work out, my aunt has also volunteered. There's also always camp where both boys can be at one place at one time instead of trying to cordinate two very different schedules during the school year.
Finally, sometimes cervical dysplasia just goes away on its own. This will buy me some more time to see if it just resolves itself.
Right now, I'm relieved because I feel much more in control of everything. Of course this doesn't mean that a week from now I won't be worrying about the official test results, but even that seems less stressful with this new timeline.
I'll leave you with my lesson learned today about how a cervix is like a starfish.
A. Elliot's Lesson Learned: The cervix regenerates itself.
I'm glad you've been able to talk it through and plan accordingly. I understand how that can make a big difference in the stress you were dealing with.
I hope you won't have a lot of big anxiety waves coming back.
Professional Mom of two cats, a dog, an ant farm, and oh yeah...two boys: a 6 year old and a 3 year old. Also found in my house is my husband who is known on this blog as The Big Giraffe.
For those of us who didn't get an instruction manual with our babies and for whom parenting hasn't always gone as planned. On a more serious note this blog is about supporting a woman's ability to make her own choices about parenting including the choice, for whatever reason, to bottle feed her babies formula.
I'm glad you've been able to talk it through and plan accordingly. I understand how that can make a big difference in the stress you were dealing with.
I hope you won't have a lot of big anxiety waves coming back.
take care